Having only just now read Dave Barry’s description of his own colonscopy (published last February, well before my own), I have some reactions:

  1. I really did only just now read it, so any similarities of my account to his are wholly coincidental, save that there are only so many things one can say about “HE’S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR BUTT!”
  2. Okay, the tube is actually about two meters long. I started to say “only two meters”, but there is no such thing as “only two meters” when it’s going… where it’s going.
  3. Nobody told me you could spike the nuclear laxative with vodka. I don’t drink, but I might have been tempted to start had I known.
  4. I think my favorite sentence must be this: “And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink another liter of MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.”
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